Testimonials of transformation
I have know Rohan Ji physically since 3 years but feels like more than a lifetime .. and thus began the journey of a million miles & a thousand suns. Every shaktipat poured in more grace & refinement in my own feild and the energetic shifts that were so visible now that this was something everybody else around me started noticing this difference visibly and this silently confirmed something I knew from deep within was at play. The grace of this person was so strong and so powerful that even his presence make me shiver and this happened every time I met him from the past 3 years so it was not some play that my mind imagined to be true it confirmed itself every time. His presence was the presence of the divine itself, the way he spoke with long moments of silence phrasing every sentence that uttered was like an unveiling of a hidden layer or towards pointing to a place of ego which would in an instant feel shattering and enlightening at the same time. His every activity that ensued was filled with slow, regular, harmonious movements, the consciousness immediately found its place in the feild we shared. I began to enjoy this presence and the smallest things since my attention was heightened – I started to take in the worlds full freshness.
This was pure energy entaglement there are no words to describe this experience. There was an instant magnetism created and it pulled me to dig deeper and closer to in search of the ultimate truth and tons of self enquiry that followed and with every shaktipat .. a different clearing unwrapped .. making me feel like a 16yr teenager falling first time in love – leaving my heart blooming; introducing me to the divine mother & her affection – leaving me with motherly protection & affection opening my heart to everybody connecting me to every soul which made me feel like I could access the divine in them right the moment I looked in to there eyes, which accompanied feelings of oneness in my heart; so vulnerable that I thought I was falling in love with everybody I met, downright opening my Vocal chords / Throat Chakra to express myself freely .. more openly, moments of lucid surreal bliss love filled states I felt like I was in this huge energy bubble almost floating around constantly .. where anything was possible in my 3D vision so much so that I could even golden orbs floating around my home, huge showers of white light, neon pixelated surroundings even when I was in the middle of this experience I would recall that Rohan Ji said even getting caught up in this experience is a trap and we should be a constant witness to this even. This I found repeating to myself & others constantly.
But each time I tried to describe this state or this feeling I always fell short of words since it was a pure meeting with the divine through the very source and very presence of the divine itself and extremely sacred.
These energetic shifts and meetings left me in a wonder filled state like a little child looking at the world with completely delightful eyes absorbing everything as if seeing something for the very first time. Usually anyway the physical presence itself of Rohan Ji can anyway throw you off your guard and put you in place that is so vulnerable that you have no choice but to open up and especially this shaktipat transmission almost something else entailed.
I spend an entire week not being able to focus on any major activity during the days even having a meal became a secondary task – which is very unlike me, all that was happening spontaneously was me wanting to closing my eyes going in to these spontaneous states of samadhi, states of high awareness of energy running through my spine, my face, running all over my body making me tremble / shiver / shake uncontrollably and feel like there was nothing I could do to contain this excitement that pervaded these states and the intense realisation of love, bliss and truth that followed and stayed for hours. Maybe if someone looked right in to my eyes he / she would read it anyway – so I tried to hide and find moments in my day where I could secretly fly away. I thanked for the wonderful instrumental YouTube music which guided my journey and the moments of isolation that was with me all during these processes which came in like also a blessing.
I asked myself questions, whether really this was an experience I was living or whether this was a dream that I’d imagined, and suddenly the divine mother would appear stronger than before and would give me a sign in a physical form of a twitch or a spasm in the muscle or like little Buzzing lines running through the skull of my head. It was like she spoke to me and confirmed her presence in case I doubted the very intensity of this experience. In this very exact moment after these experiences and maybe even during it felt like even if I died & left my body it was fine, this physical body if didn’t exist it was fine, this world at this moment if didn’t exist it was fine. This love was beyond containment, beyond boxing in this physical form, beyond words, beyond expression, beyond time and beyond space.
The guru binded me and provoked me to the experiences even more harder every time I saw his picture online, maybe read an article on his page which was powered again with shakti or sensed his presence with me while meditating that in an instant my physical & emotional world would have started collapsing, I would start seeing in 6D and this beautifully unwrapped itself in moments which by made me feel like a caterpillar tearing out of its cocoon and turning in to a butterfly .. something like metamorphosis or even sort of a intense flower blooming everyday in my heart or in my crown chakra. A constant beam of love that shot right out my heart & went straight up hooking on to his heart .. in this instant I knew that my life would never be the same & that I was now constantly in touch and the knowing of the divine mother that existed & danced within me and I started seeking moments of solitary bliss where she would suddenly come alive and I would witness her as me and be only nothing but grateful in an awe to experience her showering grace. Here I found the true meaning of Sat Chit Ananda. Here I found his never ending love and grace.
My guru Rohan Ji
“Rohan was in the right place and the right time for me when I really needed something more than I was getting from the people around me at the time. During the beginning of my spiritual unfolding, I had come to the point of seeing that many of my friends around me that I had confided in did have good lessons to share, but much of it came with hooks, catches, and terms and conditions of their egos.
So I had come to the point that i was craving a real teacher. One who had seen the light at the end of the tunnel, more, someone who had embraced that light, and who could speak from that place directly. And what’s more, I was looking for someone who could speak from that place TO ME, personally.
Maybe, most of all, what I really needed at that time was a friend. I needed a friend who could see my pain and see my struggle, and who was willing to take the risk to speak the truth to my face and give it to me straight, even though the truth might hurt.
I found all these things in my dear friend Rohan.
For me, he has been a lantern shining brightly through a stormy night. Upon first befriending him about a year and a half ago now, I found he is instantly disarming. He is a man of high humor, and has a depth of knowledge and wisdom about him that are far beyond his years.
He could speak and appeal to me and my sense of scientific inquiry. He was able to demystify and make practical and real world applicable much of the ancient teachings and writings. It didn’t matter if it was Christian or Hindu, or Buddhist or Taoist, he could show me, and confirm for me the truth in any scripture or passage and do it in such a way that it became a change in me.
A daily change. And so it went. Watching him interact with others was a learning also. It gave visibility to the depth and breadth of his wisdom, and his work ethic. His constant presence, responding to literally thousands of people, to this day astounds me (do you sleep man?)
Beyond being in the right place at the right time and being the embodiment of all the things I needed to keep from losing my mind, or worse, doing something terrible to myself or the ones I love, how has Rohan helped me?
By just being there. By being present. And by bringing with him the infinitesimal to each drop of contact I’ve had with him. He has helped me.
If there is one teaching I’ve learned from him it’s this:
And so, here I am now too.
Thank you brother Rohan for be-ing you.”
“Through the grace of kundalini I was guided to Rohan. My first remote Shaktipat experience was pure bliss as kundalini rise in orgasmic waves. Resonance strongly felt as we connected through meditation for Shaktipat.
Rohan is a clear direct channel, a conduit, transmitting grace. In addition he’s a beloved mentor and guide, ever knowledgeable, intuitive, yet self-directing.”
“When I was asked to write a testimonial for Shaktipat transmitted via Rohan Kapur, my heart smiled conscious of witnessing itself rise … as all words fall short in the presence of Awareness…. and yet here I am braving the spell of words with the courage to convey silent truths.
Rohan, in his humble presence burns with the fire of Awareness. With absolute sincerity, earnestness and clarity he sparks this fire in each human he places his palm on. It is indeed a decent of grace ~ a blessing, a very sweet precious present.
During the first shaktipat session, I witnessed intensified stillness in the body, deafening silence in the mind, darkness- a void… my familiar friend i retreated into (though with lesser intensity). When Rohan placed his palm gently on my head, through this still, silent, dark void, I witnessed a beam of awareness penetrate my crown like a thunderbolt, strike through the heart, bounce off the base and rise back up enlivening the deathly void. As per Vedic texts, I can say I was struck by the vajra.
Potential energy flows from high to low. Energy flowing from his hand into my spine read like an energetic scan. I could see for myself my blocks and openings. Like a mirror, he is so clear and reflective that all you can see is only ‘your’self. Intuition voiced arrival of Awareness. I knew when I opened my eyes that this energy scanner/messenger/potential energy reservoir/fire of Awareness was none other than my Guru. The syllable ‘gu’ means darkness, the syllable ‘ru’, he who dispels them. Because of the power to dispel darkness, the guru is thus named — Advayataraka Upanishad, Verse 16
Akin to the elderly devotee Shabri of the hindu epic Ramayan, I was both astounded and ecstatic upon the arrival of my Guru. I am truly blessed with his acceptance of this unworthy devotee. His compassion and generosity is simply magnanimous. I am deeply grateful to be his initiate and learn under his guidance to walk the razor’s edge- to bridge, balance and realise my Self. By age of physical body, I could very well be Rohan’s mother, but it is he who has been a mother, a father, a guide and through them all a very dear friend to me. He detachedly whips up a ship of any relation to sail you through the stormy vortex of one’s journey up the spine. His patience and kindness is limitless for a majhi (ferryman). From his clarity of awareness flows truth of unconditional love which is communicated in silence and his arrow like words.
Walking the path of bhakti yoga, one’s heart chakra (Anahata) is devoted only to the crown chakra (Sahasrara). All externalities in the world of phenomena including the external guru is only to remind and guide one to establish this internal union, whereby the disciple loses all individuality in the ocean of Sat-Chit-Anand…. somewhere en route the bhakt turns into a mystic delighting in these waters.
Like the devout Shabri who on her walks in the forest, plucked wild berries and meticulously tasted them and offered only the sweet ones to Rama, I vouch for this sweet fruit- the light of Awareness sparked by Rohan Kapur.”
“They say that you are shown / find the path only when you are in a dire need for it. In my case I was lucky to have it introduced to me by someone who’s words and company always seem to touch me deeply. All that was needed was a show of hand towards the kundalini fb group and the shaktipat online event and there has been no turning back ever since. I didn’t have any major kriyas but there was a definite shift along with a feeling of being connected to something bigger than me, within me.
Since then every shaktipat event has only intensified these shifts, clearing blocks and help provide me with the long awaited clarity slowly but surely everyday. The 7 day shaktipat retreat in person with Rohan and Gyani, was the perfect ending or should I say the beginning to my new found journey of life. I don’t think I have ever felt more connected via love, acceptance and happiness with a group of strangers before.
It felt like being given the key to unlock that infinite energy that I am now sure exists within all of us.
One of the most beautiful by-products (if you want to call it something) it has brought about is a deep understanding of my mother’s unending faith towards our family Guru.
Growing up I didn’t quite understand it, having never have met her as she had passed away by the time I was born and all her teachings were in my native language I didn’t identify so much with growing up.
I remember how I scoffed at my mom’s daily poojas, prayers, bhajans and mantras. Gotten angry when she refused to break her silence during her “niyams” to answer my random questions. Remarked, “I hope I don’t become like when I grow up.”
I finally had a chance to understand her life & teachings via a book now translated in English and thanks to all the readings from the kundalini group, the book was the missing puzzle piece that allowed me to connect with my mother at a level that I have only longed and yearned for all my life.
Everything I have seen my mother go through and do with her faith started making so much sense to me that it deeply saddens me to think of all the chances I have lost in this lifetime to share this connection with her! I even scolded her for not being able to get me there before. She simply responded with, “You had to find it on your own.”
I now tell my mom, “I think I am becoming like you and I love it!”
If the words above does not make you see the amount of gratitude I have towards Rohan, Gyani, Qusai & Roopa, then maybe the smile on my face when I talk about my experience when we meet will.“
“My retreat at Raison Manali.
After receiving Grace by Rohan at a few shaktipat sanghas and my introduction to Gyani’s Grace through on line transmissions, a sublime shift had started. The idea of a seven day retreat was a dream coming true.
I had the immense joy and a deep heartfelt HOMECOMING, meeting Gyani.
The retreat in itself was a space of utter beingness and flow. Surrender to the kriyas came naturally, the dissolution happened gently. There was a space of holding as I could let the ego self go into depths of unknowingness without fear.
It was certainly a deep dive within. The results of which are unfolding now. I really thought I had taken all the unnecessary clothing off and gotten rid of the limited ego self. The proclamation of the fact itself, shows how bound I still was.
The very very subtle layers of the limited ego mind started showing up in life after the bliss felt at Raison. I was shocked at the resistance I still had to accept certain aspects of me. Slowly, as another transmission happened on the full moon, I’ve finally started getting a GLIMPSE of the true essence of love. I’ve felt that essence being my essence as well for moments.
As potent as the releases are, Gyani is just as gentle and nurturing.
I awakened this year and have already had kundalini energy running through me lots of mystical experiences purging etc. However i suffered greatly from chronic pain. This time last year i was very unwell indeed i could barely walk or lift a plate even and have gone through some dark times. I wernt sure id make it at one point 🙈
Through awakening at the start of the year i have got loads better and come along way but still have pain anxiety etc and i knew i needed a little help accelerating this to clear the blocks.
The other day i had a thought come to me about winter solsttice and some energy portal / time of importance. I didnt know what it meant but then i saw Rohan Kapur post something about kundalini awakening in a group and it was so well written i contacted him to share to my own page and group. And from there i found his group and the event and i just knew i had been guided there!
So heres whats happened so far….
Day 1 of shaktipat
I was lucky enough to connect with rohan st about 6pm uk time. I got settled and pictured him and we conneceted. The instant rush of energy hit my crown even when he messaged me a simple worrd …. OM
From there my crown opened up so wide and strong it was like a knife stabbing in me in the head, strong electrical stabbing and pulling that stayed for the duration. During this time waves of energy were running through my head and my neck. I felt compelled to move my hands in certain ways which seemed to release even more. It was truly breath taking at times as i sighed with relief. I also had some visuals…. a big building three stories in another country and a stop watch 🤷♀️ but also more hand gestures which i did as well as the usual colour spirals i see and third eye pulsating.
When i went to bed i awoke fairly soon to what felt like a water or snake like sensation in my lower coxyx / spine and front. Sleep was disturbed from then for sometime but i was in and out of it with random pains throughout my body electric zaps and pricks. I also got really hot had to open a window .
I awoke at 0440…. urge to meditate so i did it was lovely and peaceful
So then this morning was pretty intense…. i was in a total other world. The presence i had was powerful and i just understood everything i got it! Everything was just beautiful. Lots of waves of energy and i was recomended a video on youtube which explained about just being! And they mentioned a song by the beatles let it be…. i played it and i was in euphoria , i was laughing dancing singing with eyes closed and had to do another mudra. It was sheer bliss.
A friend who is struggling with some spirtual things spoke to me and i just knew what to say all this stuff just flew out of me and i felt connected i could feel energy in my body.
I have had synchronicitys all day long with numbers songs signs even a white feather flew down to me and gave me major goosebumps
I got this number 1111 on my phone (screenshot attached) as i was doing yoga and below my feet were these tiny wings hehe (photo attached)
Body symptom wise i felt alot in my heart and stomach this morning and under my eyes were throbbing as was my head and i now have a sore throat
The chronic pain i have however has started to ease up! I had a moment of the least pain id had in years it was so strange to me thats when the white feather dropped from the sky.
Tonights meditation went well…. lots of feeling again in my crown, the stabbing got too much after 40 mins so laid down and it stopped but i got visuals instead. Had waves of energy but not as much as last time. I moved some energy around with my hands and could feel it run through me more. Lots of little electric stabs and twitches throughout my bodies muscles
So yea so far so good 😊 i am so grateful. I will post my updates if anyone interested 🙏❤️
I have a “cold” i never get sick so i out it down to shaktipat 😝 sore throat cough heavy chest runny blocked nose sneezes etc. I have been abrupt with my husband today. I never notmaly soeak out. Conditiong from childhood meant i was never allowed to so this is nee to me and i dont even feel guilty about it. Its time i got some help and didnt have to to the majortity round here!
So i went and mediated i only had ten mins as got to do school run and woke late at 0550 😝 my littlest gets up at 6 so I usually try to meditate earlier.
But within those ten mins i connected right aeay, lots more releases and i coukd tell what they were like emotions and thoughts from the past. My head wanted to change direction to the right and diwn and i felt like my energy was twisted…. then there it was, a feeling in my stomach not being good enough, tears fell from my face i shook n more energy waves came out.
I will meditate for longer bit later today as theres more there . I think this one may be painful 🙈
Edit update 2
Had a wonderful walk in the woods i could literally feel the trees in my heart 🙂 felt like home.
The cold/flu symptoms progressed feeling fluy now hot/sore throat cough etc
Meditation was a bit more difficult because of this but connected eventualy felt my crown stab pull and open some more releases/ waves of energy but i had to stop early as got really cold.
Dreams last night were full on!!! I was shouting at my mum telling her exactly how i felt then she shouted back at the end something quite disturbing which i truly hope isnt a prediction for the future. About someone having cancer and i know exactly where it is :s very vivid dreams.
Feel bit poorly this morning but i am ok with that 🙂 whatever will be will be. Also feel more calm, less body pain than normal. Have been doing more snd feel a change in me. I also feel as if there is not time any more. A very odd subtle feeling i cant quite put words too.
Heres to day 4 💪🏻
Update start of day 5 : im off to sea life with the kids today so i got up early and did half hour meditation. Not really feeling as much now but i am more in my third eye if that makes sense…. seeing very vivid colours and this morning yellow triangles. I have some sort of cold/detox going on still tired/headachey, tight chest etc.
Not much else to report i dont think. Felt a little flat yesterday afternoon after my mum n dad came round. Dads struggling and i felt it in his heart. I wander if i took some of that on. Also my mums energy is very dense and eratic and i try not to be around it too much…. Not too sure how to get rid of it. Im new ish to energy work and boundaries. Any tips appreciated……
Looking forward to being present today and seeing the animals 🙂 even though i feel unwell i feel like i dont mind the experience and just kinda watching it. What will be will be. Which is new for me usualy id be upset and anxious about the whole week as im busy. But it tried to sneak up on me and i gently reminded myself of this new consciousness. Fingers crossed it stays that way 🙂
Oh yea im off meat completly! I almost was and ive had a shift there. Went and got lots of lovely food yesterday for myself and yesterday i felt like eating green 🤷♀️
Oh actualy there is more… DREAMS! Last night was so vivid! A UFO came and there were helicopters chasing it it was big n black n had like these barrels on either side. I remember speaking to some one of authority and they tried to tell me it was something to do with oil but i knew they were lying then me and my husband were in our home but it was some where else not the current one we live in and there was something outside so we was rushing to close the windows.
I didnt feel alone last night at one point either i was tickling my neck or something was going on with it ….. the cover was pulled down i jumped awake and pulled it back up thats when i felt a little scared. Not sure if i was dreaming or what 🤷♀️ i also heard a dog bark at this time. I could hear very faint voices this morning and i think i hear things during the night. So yea thats something lol
Going to the seaside was lovely. After being chronicly ill for so long my energy levels are up even with this “cold” my pain is less and my mind is clearer it was actualy probably the best day i have had in almost 2 years. I felt like a child again. The presence i had was intense i was at peace even when my daughter was acting up! i enjoyed every now moment. The sea life centre was fabulous! The creatures in there were just amazing i loved watching them swim about it was truly a unique experience one that was probably similar of that to my kids 6 and 2 . I seriously can not believe how much has changed in 5 days! Mind blowing.
Meditation tonight was full of peace just felt like i was floating in space at one point. Had the urge to move my hands in certain ways and head that released waves of energy but mainly just this amazing peace and for a split moment i realised what “we are all one” meant…. when i say realised…… i felt it. But it was very brief and i couldnt quite get back to that.
At one point i could feel the air in front of me like a cool energy breeze like i could reach out and touch it. I saw some cool visuals all be it faint like a tunnel going in cicles and like a cobweb wobbling all at the same time.
I seem to be able to laugh again. Watching a comedy now. I didnt realise i hadnt laughed in years like that. Forever grateful to rohan and all others involved in this 🙂 thank you again
I dont know of im expecting purging after this 🤷♀️ lows? So far i am loving this and i am committed to this way of life. I know what life is meant to be now 🙂
Strange dreams last night lots to do with my sister. I also woke several tomes with lots of realizations and thoughts but cant remember them exactly…. i think my subconscious knows though….. Just before bed a new friend of mine gave me a xmas present i had to open it early it was a wonderful book for anxiety like a journal and activities its beautiful and will help me in my work to help others too. It made me realise the lovely friends i now have around me. Such a differnce to a few short years back where i lost so called friends. They dumped me when i was pregnant and ill and made me feel unworthy and a bad person! I cried last night and realised what was going on and the lesson in it and that i had made incredible progress and shifts! I then saw my relationship with my sister and how toxic it is and how much anger she holds. She bullies me and i felt all this anxiety come up which is still here today but im allowing it and i can see why i used to do things i do to cover this feeling up. I know i need to move away from toxic relationships but finding it hard with my mum and sister. I cant totaly move away so hopefuly my expansion in consciousness will allow me to be present and not allow their ways digs and opinions to affect me.
Im feeling more poorly today 🤷♀️ really fluey now i think i may cave and go but some medicine as it is xmas eve tomorrow 🙈
Update : end of day 6 …. Meditation tonight Wow lots of visions ! People, cars, situations. 2 people in a hut in the war. Kept switching scenes 😳
Omg enlightenment moment!!
The 25th is the rising of Christ consciousness! Jesus “birthday” is a symbol of that. Shaktipat has led me too it holy crap i cant beleive ive been guided here wow. I found this group literally a week ago.
I was told to find this and i did i cant even explain how i feel right now but i love Christmas even more 😊 im going to show people this !!
My heart just exploded energy rushes up n down my spine out top of my head crown lit up. Im home! My heart just knows the truth and i spoke with god/source, “ i never left you my child” what on earth just happened. Tears and shaking and laughing i saw angel wings and a man in my vision.
I am so blessed and grateful. I went to my family for xmas eve which usualy i find anxious and not so nice but today was totaly different…. so present and calm and everything was wonderful. I didnt want alcohol! They offered me several times but i just do not need or want it any more. Christmas we usualy drink but it just doesnt fit with me now. I can’t not believe the turn around and change this past week it is mind blowing i am so excited for the future and what is coming
This time last year i was a mess!!
Forever grateful. ❤️🙏
“When I was asked to give a testimony of the services and guidance that Rohan and Gyani offers I felt overwhelmed and silented at the same time. How is it possible to describe in words that which truly has no explanation?
Gyani embodys Grace in each particle of her being and with that touch of grace and ease she guides you effortlessly through any hardship. One simple touch or look can remind you of how simple it can be to…simply be. And all that other stuff, that we do to keep ourselves from true self-love, she silently holds space for in an all-encompassing way.
If one is looking for a Guru with Grace that embodies the Divine Feminine, without titles, entitlements, judgments or fluff, there is no doubt that Gyani will be the perfect reflection for that. For she reminds you – that “there is no spoon”, just like there is no other Guru but you.
Rohanji, the most Beloved and compassionate warrior of awareness I’ve had the honor to honor. He can with no words strike any ego imposed acts down with one sigh. He holds a space of true Love, unconditional Love, that which brings you to tears (and silence) simply by being around. He is witty, smart and quick to humour, but he has no tolerance for ignorance and will with his deeply rooted awareness and non dual state of pure Bliss, be able to penetrate through any darkness and fears still lingering in ones illusionary state of being.
I thought in the beginning that I was afraid of Rohanji and he simply made me aware that it was myself I was fearing. Now, he has never told me this of course, because it is all me, we are all one. There simply is no need for him to tell me anything, yet he does from time to time meet us all at the level of perception. Because his patience too is as deep as his Love for us. He will not only allow us to die, but allow us to flourish even further.
They are both the embodiment of all the Archetypes, Mother, Father, Feminine, Masculine, Shiva, Shakti. But truly they are mere reflections, echo of an enlightened state. The state where there is not two, the state that is truth and truth only. There is no limit to their giving, there is no limit to my gratitude.
Hari Om Tat Sat”
My share of the past Winter solstice shaktipat 2019 and what has transpired until now.
Muladhara and Svadhisthana – meditation was serene and calm. Automatic breathing took place.
Manipura- meditation was intense. Strong visualization of my spine expanding and contracting with each breath as well as the toroidal vortex out my root and crown focusing energy building in Manipura. Kriya started with automatic breathing and twitching and pressure in my eyeballs. My tongue was farting around in my mouth and then twitching like feeling in my hips that progressed up through my torso and into my shoulders. My head felt like it was being pulled by an invisible string coming right out the top. Up and around and sideways. I experienced Mudra like motions, unlike before. Arms raising up almost V shaped but allowing energy to flow upward.
Anahata – meditation was easy to enter calm state of nothingness. Vortex meditation was vivid, with heart expansion and crown opening with more automatic Mudra movements. Arms raised above my head and curved open like the petals of a lotus. A shower of Golden rain came down from out of my crown and encircled me in a beautiful gold and white light.
Vishuddhi – strong meditation on the throat, reaffirming my voice.
Ajna – calm meditation. More mindfulness than meditation.
Sahasrara – focused meditation on the crown, with feelings my head being pulled up and around, again, like a string attached to the top of my head. Sensations of my crown opening, and vibrating sensations in my skull.
After meditation, I was sitting in my hot tub with my partner and waves of gratitude and love flowed through me, similar to what I experienced during my initial awakening experience 5 years ago.
This past Solstice Shaktipat was by far the strongest yet, with levels of surrender I would previously never have allowed myself to experience. So much love and gratitude to Rohan Kapur, Yaari Prema and Gyani Grace
And to all that were part of the field.
Christmas came and went, and was more difficult financially this year due to certain circumstances. On the 29th my partner had an interaction that brought up deep emotions from my past. I fell into a darkness that I had experienced before but pushed away out of fear. This time I let myself feel it. I cried on and off through the afternoon and evening. I went to bed at 8 feeling like I was hit by a truck. I woke at 1:30, which is mostly usual lately. By 2 I was sitting in my meditation room sobbing uncontrollably for almost an hour. I went back in the house and got another couple hours of broken sleep.
By morning I woke feeing broken and drained. I spoke with a dear friend who asked me to share and I am glad I did. 🙏❤️
Afterwards I meditated and clarity came about my emotions and attachment to them, as well as attachment to others emotions. 🙏🕉
December 31 morning meditation
I entered my meditation room and found myself automatically doing standing meditation. It was very calming with automatic breathing and focused core star expansion. I sat in my chair and had Strong visualizations of grounding to the earth, and energy building in Anahata with the color green in my closed eyes. The visualization of my heart expansion was also felt this time as pressure in my chest, like pushing outward. I has visions of a seed pop into my mind, bursting open with roots rushing downwards into the ground and beautiful green coming out of the center. It was very vivid. The breathes were quite deep and slow with long pauses at the top and bottom. The colors started changing to violet and indigo, flashing between them. I kept asking the question, Who am I? All of a sudden the color orange flashed in my closed eyes and the word Svadhisthana.
I started to become aroused. Usually I move the energy up into my heart. This time I opened my eyes shortly after that and the meditation ended.
I got up and went out of my meditation room, onto the covered area. It was dark and rainy. I’m not sure how to describe what happened next, except to say it was like making love with Mother Nature/Gaya everything? It was very surreal. I went in the house feeling in a daze. I went to the kitchen to pour another coffee, and it felt like slow motion. Pouring the cream and watching it swirl in the black coffee was mesmerizing. I had to stop and stabilize myself on the counter. I started feeling pressure build in the back of my neck and it slowly started moving up the back of my head. It scared me a bit and quickly subsided, so I intentionally said in my mind “I surrender” and it began again. I let it start again and let it rise up until the entire top of my head was pressure and I felt not really there, is the best way I can describe it. I made it to the couch and sat down where I just sat until I slowly felt like I was back again.
Even a couple hours later I still feel in a daze.
Nothing like burning in the fires of hell and rebirthing out of the ashes.
“I met the very elegant Gyani Grace at the immersive Shaktipat Retreat in the Himalayas. She has been wisely named as she is a perfect embodiment of both gyan (knowledge) and grace. With warm tender love she holds space- which can be a difficult practice as it is very intimate and yet requires a minimum amount of distance, respect and space to let the other person be themselves heal, grow and develop. With her gentle touch she meets you where you’re at and lifts you into growth. Her words are clear, articulate and light with detachment. Her radiant smile and calm voice is soothing to the soul. To me, she is living proof that words, culture, ideologies, theories, countries and all such false impressions are irrelevant… as a human whose root is in communion with it’s crown has nothing to do but silently emanate this gyan with grace. Deeply grateful for her loving presence.”
“I first encountered Yaari Prema online. I had begun following the Vedic Vortex facebook page and each of her posts were charged with Shakti. She is a true loving friend, like what her name means. Daily her posts, which are like rain to the deserts… gently held my hand and walked me through my grieving times… and led me right into the palm of my Guru. Deeply grateful for the love she pours in her wise, silent and powerful words.”
I been on some type of spiritual path for a very long time.
However, after going all in for many years as a seeker, leaving ‘normal life’ behind, living with gurus in asharams and so on, my journey had come to a full stop.
I had given up the search.
There was simply no way.
My dad past away during this time, ended up taking care of my mother for some time and around this time I came to drop my given spiritual name.
Life became very much about survival after that. Finding a job and a place to live etc.
I started playing allot of video Games and listened to anti gurus that say, ‘this is it and then u die’ type of thing.
About 3 months ago something changed, it came to me very clear in a vision that I needed to explore kundalini. It also became very clear that life wasn’t over after all. There was more here to explore and worth investigating.
I had already been contacted by Gyani Grace, and suddenly shaktipat did not sound so crazy anymore. When I got the chance to participate I wholeheartedly joined in and received. Two times in the flesh and one week remotely.
In my second live one I felt some energy moving in me. But did not think much of it. Still quite skeptical to the whole thing (I have a very rational half brain). Although it was also very clear that I was very fortunate to be in the presence of this being.
I tried to keep up the daily practice (sadhana) as much as I could during the remote Shaktipat week and not much happened that I could notice during this time. Just feeling calmer, more centered than usually.
Then about a week ago I sit down to meditate, then go to bed, and this is where things really took off.
I was still in a rather meditative state listening to UG Krishnamurti att the time. He was going on about how you will die but the body never dies. It becomes worm food and so on…
I started feeling some kind of shivers that made my body cringe forwards almost like unvolentary sit-ups. Then my head was going backwards.
Creating a counter movement, arching my back, making like a bridge. This kept on going for a while slowly turning in to a wavelike movement.
Then when it had stopped my legs where up, and my knees started swaying very rythmically from left to right. Kind of creating a wave of energy coming out of my head, The clock work rhythm of It really surprised me.
It was so evident ‘I’ wasn’t doing this.
I sat up in lotus and a long series of beautiful asanas started unfolding.
There was this circular symetrical movement of the hands. Going from huge circles in to finer and finer ones, ending with the upper body stretching out and touching the edge of the bed. This went on for quite some time.
Having a yoga teacher background I was blown away by the quality of these movements and pranayamas (breathing techniques), stuff I have never seen before. Beautifully articulated. At some point I was feeling I had to memorize these so I could share them.
Then there was wave movements in the back, from side to side. Starting in the torso area and moving in fluid spiral, all the way to the fingertips. It felt like my whole spine was being realigned.
After that the head started making circles, that refined becoming smaller and smaller.
There was this cracking in neck and head. And it felt like the kundalini was chewing it’s way through the spine and then my head. Making way.
Some of the pranayama’s really blew me away. One deep inhale with the tongue. Then back to the nose breathing. Two rythmic breaths in, two out, faster and faster sort of creating this spiral energy movements and ending in a long deep breath and complete silence. I never really cared too much for breath work. Always struggled with it, and here this breathing techniques happening ‘all by themselves’ where me witnessing breathing perfection.
Some of the asanas felt like they where crossing the left brain with the right brain. Left arm going to the right side, and right arm going to the left side of the body, and again ending in smaller movements in a refined outstretched spiral making a one pointed focus of energy in the center.
After that there where more circular movements. No longer symmetrical though.
One arm making circular movements that ended in the sexual center. And then reversing the spiral in to the opposite direction and going out in to big circles again.
Then there was more symmetry, now my hands where massaging the body. The belly, the heart chakra and so on. Going over the face, really getting in there and rubbing it.
At some point it feelt like it was not even me anymore. Like this slender, squinty eyed being has taken over completely.
This ‘yoga session’ went on for hours and hours.
There were all kinds of symbolism going on.
At some point my hands where touching the sides of my upper back. And I felt like there could be wings there. Maybe there had been at some point? And another time my hands where massaging my forehead. And I felt like there could grow horns there.
For a second It almost felt like I was… I had a vision of Ida and Pingala making their way.
In retrospect I feel like there where allot of archetypical nonsense here, simply being flushed out.
Images and archetypes that belong to the collective human condition. That somehow perhaps where not relevant anymore.
It also came to me that this was grace moving. Cleaning out the vessel.
It also became clear that my addiction to video-games after giving up my Guru and after my father’s death. Was somehow ‘Me’ realizing there was nothing in this for ‘Me’. It was giving up. No way out.
Nothing to gain.
Nothing but death awaits for the small self.
The next day during meditation, the Kriyas came rapidly.
Some movements where similar to those of the night before, and others where new.
I had to put out my yoga mat and get off my pillow.
Some became very intensive. First my head moved from left to right. Slowly intensifying and ending in the center sort of one pointedly in the pineal gland.
Then there where different types of focus here I could put all my attention somewhere above the pineal gland, or I could lower my cheek and center my attention in the upper top of the head. I felt like this type off attention was connected to the highest chakra, although not sure about that.
Then there was the relaxing of the sexual area between the sexual organs and I felt I could relax that further by swaying my lotus position from left to right.
I had a vision of a reversed heart that was moving all the energy upwards.
There was this words that came, that the whole attention was being ‘ionized’ up in to a single point.
At some point I was doing these ‘breast stroke’ type of movement, like I was swimming in to the light, with a strong clap infront of every chakra. Like the clap was recharging them.
After that my palms opened up and there was this Silverlight pouring down on me. It felt graceful and I found my self bowing in to the floor, crying a deep cry. No sadness, simply feeling gratitude.
I lay down on my back rested for a bit and then my head started moving rythmically. Left to right. Eventually it was swaying so rapidly I was sort of resisting it. Kind of in fear my neighbors would see me from the window and think I was having a seizure.
This was one of the strongest of these Kriyas. The movement made the whole body feel like a rubber band. Like a stretched out line expanded through the universe.
That ended the seccond session.
Finally a few days ago I had another one.
I went to bed and woke up during the night.
Again I ended up sitting up, making circular movements of the head.
It felt like the energy (in the form of a snake) was ‘chewing’ it’s way through the head again. This was by no means painful. You want it to happen and you help it by letting go. By not interfering.
Many times I could feel the rational mind getting in the way of the process, and all u can do is to surrender it as much as u can.
Get urself out of the way.
Eventually it felt like the kundalini came out of the forehead like u see on the Egyptian statues. And then from there it moved to the heart and back to the sexual organs.
At this point I had a vision of like I had pooped out the worm, or like it had shedded skin. Then my spine column was filled with this pranic blue light. Like a flurucent swimming pool color.
I felt that the Goddess was now residing in my heart. And that she is the same goddess in every heart. You are that Goddess.
The twisted spiral energy that had been creating pain in the heart center was now being untwisted and the heart chakra was radiating freely.
Then there was this vision of the body belonging to the earth, and that earth is like a spaceship moving through space.
But in reality, none of it exists.
At some point I could see how everything was taking form out of nothing. Like a zigzagging spiral vortex, forming the world out of nothing, much like a Kaleidoscope or something.
And how ‘what you resist persists’.
That is to say, if you truly ‘let yourself go’, then there is nothing there.
The fear of death is what’s keeping us alive.
You, the world, etc,
It’s only in your mind.
After that experience had subsided.
Everything was pretty much back to ‘normal’.
Back in La-la land.
Thank you for taking the time.
“It’s been 3 weeks post Shaktipat with Gyani.
Just wanted to share how much my practice has changed since then. I went from meditating 40min-1hr and now to 3-5hrs of meditation everyday. I thought I was experiencing bliss and absorption before but now it’s a whole new level, I fall into a meditative state very easily, quickly and deeply. The bliss is like an orgasmic force rising followed with bright white light or stars/fireworks. It all comes in waves moments of deep stillness and then the bliss just comes out all of a sudden and back to deep stillness that keeps going deeper as the meditation goes on.
I am so amazed and grateful for this rapid shift and so looking forward to next Shaktipat soon and to hear Gyani’s magical singing voice. Thank you.”
“The fruition of this process is samadhi which yields release, which is the state of unsurpassed bliss. The revered Gurus also have said that release is to be gained only by devotion which is of the nature of reflection on the truth of the Self.”
― Ramana Maharshi